“Thank you for being unfriendly.”

I can’t keep up the high-intensity connecting, customer after customer, indefinitely.  I need to chill back, coast, ground myself.  Stay pleasant, friendly – but somewhat more in myself as opposed to out there with them.

Some customers help that – they are not available for connecting. They may be in a generic grocery store mode – they don’t expect the cashier to engage them. Don’t try – take this as a chance to drop back in.

The other day, I tried to engage with an attractive 40ish woman, but got nowhere.  I decided that she was just kind of shut down.  Then, after she left, I looked over my shoulder and saw her all animated with another customer.  Don’t take it personal.  For whatever reason, today, at that moment, she needed the cashier to be simply a cashier – not a multi-dimensional person.  It’s alright.

When you get someone who is distracted or even unfriendly, thank them inside.  “Thank you for braking my momentum” (especially when I am manic/speedy/overextended).  “Thank you for giving me an opportunity to ground myself.”  Thich Nhat Hanh encourages people to stop periodically throughout the day – just stop, in your chair, in the middle of the room – and come back to center, come back to who you really are.  He tells us to thank a stoplight for stopping us.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh

So we can thank a person for stopping us.  Stopping is good.

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6 thoughts on ““Thank you for being unfriendly.”

    • I’m making a new commitment to respond to people’s comments in a timely manner – they/you are a real lifeblood for the blog. I think this one from you slipped totally under the radar, which I would never want. Check out this other response i got to that post, which is so interesting and for me mind-opening:

      “Perhaps the 40-ish woman was finding her grounding spot in the middle of cashing out, which, for her, was her own stopping light, right there in the line. Once out of line, she was able to approach someone about their day, and how it was for them, for you taught her that without knowing you did…neat, huh? You gave her that space to do that. And, that was being real her in the moment.”

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  1. Perhaps the 40-ish woman was finding her grounding spot in the middle of cashing out, which, for her, was her own stopping light, right there in the line. Once out of line, she was able to approach someone about their day, and how it was for them, for you taught her that without knowing you did…neat, huh? You gave her that space to do that. And, that was being real her in the moment.
    Love your blogs, Majo.

    Like

    • This is such a cool comment, Susan. I feel that you totally got what I had written – and that is a gift to me. (I’m making a new commitment to respond to people’s comments in a timely manner – they/you are a real lifeblood for the blog.)

      Like

    • Oh, I just read your comment again and I think I’m getting what you’re really saying. Yeah, it would be pretty neat if what looked to me like her being unfriendly was really her finding her grounding spot. Thanks for offering that twist on it.

      Like

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