I want to be free…

The conversation started over Karen’s purchase of Lilly’s chocolate bars, one of my fav products.  We agreed that neither of us likes stevia – which makes it so surprising that we both like Lilly’s, which is sweetened with stevia.  I say it’s the dextrin, a good ingredient that I reckon counteracts the stevia taste.

We talked about our respective struggles to stay off of sugar.  Karen is on a roll with being sugar-free.  I’ve had two good days, after a disastrous day on Sunday.  (I bought three gooey pastries from my store’s wonderful bakery case, intending them to last three days – and devoured all three of them on the way home.  Horrifying.)

My addiction to sugar is like my addiction to cigarettes - is like any other addict.

My addiction to sugar is like my addiction to cigarettes – is like any other addict.

“It’s not just being sugar-free”, she said. “I want to be free period.”  This really spoke to me: “When I’m into sugar, an addict inside of me takes over.  I am driven by the addiction and live from one sugar fix to the next.  It’s a lot like when I was a smoker.  Maybe the worst part of it was the craving, the living from one fix to the next, the lack of freedom.”

With cigarettes, worse than the disastrous physical effects was the emotional effect, letting the addict in me take over.

With cigarettes, worse than the disastrous physical effects was the emotional effect, letting the addict in me take over.

“I want to be a bigger person”, she said.  “Right up there with staying off of sugar is to get enough water in my daily diet.  They say we should consume a gallon of water a day.  That’s actually pretty hard.  I thought I drank a lot of water, but when I measured it I came up way short.  Nowadays I start my day with two quarts of water – and still it’s a push to reach the gallon.  When we are dehydrated, we get tense and tight.  How many of us experience a lot of that in our days?  What if we knew that it was caused by lack of water?”

In the same binge shopping trip where i bought the three pastries, I also bought a 12 oz. "Mexico Coke" , supposedly a healthy alternative to regular Coke because it uses real sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup.  Devotees - I guess including me - like to claim that it tastes way better and not as sweet.  Now sugar is a hero.  I'm keeping this bottle in the frig - I have not found it in me to pour it out.  I bet I'm going to use it.

In the same binge shopping trip where i bought the three pastries, I also bought a 12 oz. “Mexico Coke” , supposedly a healthy alternative to regular Coke because it uses real sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup. Devotees – I guess including me – like to claim that it tastes way better and not as sweet. Now sugar is a hero. I’m keeping this bottle in the frig – I have not found it in me to pour it out. I bet I’m going to use it.

Karen inspired me.  I want freedom.  I want to be free of my sugar addiction.  At work, I will sip on my morning 16-oz. mug of coffee for two hours – two hours without water.  I want to be open to changing some of my most beloved habits in the name of freedom.

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6 thoughts on “I want to be free…

  1. I know a mom blogger that is going on a month long strict all natural healthy food diet of some sort. It cuts out all of her sugar, and she has said in doing so has made it so that fruits are sweet enough to satisfy those sweets craving. Myself? I’ve never been a “sweets person”, just presently through this particular pregnancy sweets have become a real problem, it’s such a new problem to me, and I don’t really know what to do with it. I’m hoping possibly in about three weeks after having this baby the craving just goes away with the pregnancy, and that I haven’t just opened Pandora’s Box introducing my body to all this sugar over the past eight months! I hope I’m free.

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  2. I have a tendency toward hypoglycemia and had a mentally ill brother who was addicted to all kinds of things including sugar. His was expressed in a large box full of different honeys that he would scoop from on a regular basis. I stumbled across a book in the 80s titled “Hypoglycemia and You” which stated in the introduction that a large percentage of people who were diagnosed as “schizophrenic” – a term that used to be nearly interchangeable with “manic depressive” – were actually hypoglycemic. The thing that I have found to quell my sugar cravings is a supplement: chromium picolinate. My problem seems to be that I like my swings – sometime I know that I should take the supplement to get off of my ride, but I don’t want to give up the drug yet. It usually takes just a couple of doses for me to get free of the hold of the promise of sweets.

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    • My version of “getting off of sugar” has left me all the sugar alternatives: honey, agave, maple syrup. I’m just recently starting to think that they keep me addicted and on the roller coaster. This would be a big let-go and I’m not sure that I’m ready.

      Chromium picolinate – I gotta look into it.

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  3. Awesome Majo. I’m not a smoker but you got everything else accurately! We are as free as we want to be, but somehow it takes so much to get there. Life is full of irony. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us all.

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  4. Karin – I didn’t think that you are a smoker, but got really for the first time just how similar is my dance with sugar and what I went through with cigarettes. I like the irony you point out between free as we want to be and that somehow it takes so much to get there. You have offered a lot of thoughtfulness – on the blog and in the store.

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