Cashiering is manic work. You’re waiting on one customer after another. You want to really show up for each of them. You want to be alive, engaging, maybe even funny. When I am manic, I am magic behind the cash register. When I am down, I’m often really pretty lousy.
Until recently, my cashiering work has had no power to shift my down mood – if I arrived for my shift depressed I was depressed the whole eight hours. But something has changed recently. Several times in the last two weeks, I have gone to work a little depressed and over the course of my shift have moved into a little bit of mania – not a lot of mania, just enough to be functional in my work, enough actually to make me really good.
I can tell that it’s not true biochemical mania because on days when I am not working I immediately drop back into a light depression. A light depression! A little bit of mania! You have no idea how encouraging this is to me!
The obvious next question is why – what’s different? I have a theory. I’m actually pretty convinced that I know what’s going on. Let me put it in another post.