Some things I’m not grateful for….

Thanksgiving 2015

There are a lot of things that I’m not grateful for.
I’m not grateful for all the terrible things going on on the world stage
Although that makes me even more grateful for my life
And it makes me think about and care about
People in the world who I might never have thought about otherwise

Well I’m not grateful for the knee replacement they say I need.
Though it does make me even more appreciate
Some of the things I right now can’t do
Like Tae Kwon Do
And it’s making me think about
What other kinds of work I might want to do.
That would not have me on my feet for eight hours in a shift

I’m not grateful for bipolar disorder
Every seven to ten days
Throwing me into the dark and cold
Where I can hold on to nothing
That the day before I loved
About myself and about life.
But my new meds seem to be helping some
And I am clearer all the time
That reaching out to my brothers and sisters
With this terrible disease
And writing and teaching about it
For those who love us or have to deal with us
Is my life’s work.

I’m not grateful about not seeing you people very often
Except it does make me appreciate you even more
And I’m actually probably as busy as you are – or more when I’m up
Busy and unavailable when I’m up
Flat on the floor and unavailable when I’m down
OK, us not seeing each other is not all your doing
And, in the here and now, here we are

So, I’m not grateful for er-r-r uh, a lot of things
I’m kind of good at not being grateful
So I have to learn how to love
All the players on the world stage
Even those who are doing heinous things
I’ve got to love my knee doctor and Lucille
And you people
And myself when I’m not being grateful

I’ve got to love myself no matter what
Gratitude will come in spurts
I will learn it over the whole course of my life
And I guess I can be grateful
That we have a day like now
A season like now
That encourages us to go to that place

So I’m going to be grateful for this present moment
Radiating out as best I can
In all directions
I’ll do it the best I can, for as long as I can
And ask some benevolent spirit
To give me a heads-up
When I return to whining.

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2 thoughts on “Some things I’m not grateful for….

  1. I’m not big on “counting curses” as I call it..rather than counting blessings, but you did very well with this. I love it. I’m also sorry I didn’t speak to you at Jubilee at the evening performance. I had intended to, but someone drug me against my will over to some stranger to introduce me..for what, I don’t know. I’ll never remember their name of recognize them again. I had just at that moment gotten a text from Rowdy who came to town for just a few days and really just wanted to leave and text him back. I did see him and now he’s gone again and won’t be back for a long time..if and when..But back to you, I would have given you a nice hug. Today was my 64th birthday. Ate at the Vegan Thanksgiving dinner..came on home. Time to start something anew..a good time for that, but what? discontinue the newspaper? the news is so bad..I don’t need to hear it and neither do you, but we need to know, right? Lest we be accused for sticking our heads in the sand..which is an interesting option. Have a great day and I hope you come to terms with the knee thing. those surgeries are epidemic, aren’t they? Tried a good form of glucosamine for at least 3 months??? Solgar is a good brand..order it from Vitacost for a savings..some other brands don’t work according to my husband. love, Brynda

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  2. I’ll keep my feedback brief. I loved the way you personalized your prose poem based on your experience that day. Having similar difficulties, I can relate to what you were expressing in this world. You and I both accept the good and bad in life and in the world. We can only change what is in our hearts and psyche. Thanks for this.

    Namaste,

    Dave M

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