Heaven help us, I’m praying.
I am comfortably ensconced at my table at Green Sage Cafe, my current fav place to hang out with my laptop. I have 2-4 hours of work ahead of me, which I will only relax if I accomplish this afternoon. I have not made a blog post for weeks. I have several topics floating around in my mind, in my little spiral notebook, dictated into my phone. But there is this other work. I know! I will write a short post – quick and dirty or, as my writing coach Nina Hart says, short and crappy.
I will write about what I am going to do next, still before launching into the dreaded “work”. I am going to pray for my friends.
I am not a big prayer guy. My vision of a Great Spirit is not personal – I have no one to whom to pray. But I have this little recent (or recently renewed) angle into prayer. I don’t think that anybody thinks of me when I am not right in front of them – in spite of some people telling me they do, in spite of a variety of friends or even acquaintances describing to me incidents in which they were thinking of me or sending me positive energy or praying for me.
And I know why I don’t think that anybody thinks of me when I am not right in front of them: I don’t often think about the other people in my life, even very important other people like my son and my brother. I am absorbed in survival. In Steven Covey’s terms, I focus on what is or seems urgent, as opposed to what is genuinely important. So I am going to take a page from people who regularly pray for their friends. I’m going to do that too.
The other day I spent an hour or two creating three prayer lists, to use on three rotating days. Each has the short list of my most intimate people, for whom I will pray every day:
- my son
- my brother
- the woman I have been dating (or something, it’s not clear what, but I want to affirm her importance in my life)
- my roommate Patti
- the guys in my men’s group and their partners
- my best friend Lynn
- my 35-year best buddy Monty (one year deceased)
- my dog Buddy (two years deceased but lately on my mind)
- my parents (long deceased, but I am wanting to think of them more – to be grateful to them).
Each list also has a somewhat longer list of a whole variety of people I want to make important, to remember at a minimum every three days:
- my seven housemates (who live in the other two apartments at our house, as opposed to Pattie who shares my apartment with me)
- people I work with
- people I dance with
- people i go to church with
- people I practice Tae Kwon Do with
- cashier-servers at my fav internet cafe (where I am now)
- the man who molested me (very long deceased)
- some living less-close relatives (one of whom I don’t like)
- my old girlfriend
My goal is to spend at least a few minutes every day focusing on one of these three lists. i want to make my friends – and other people in my life – important. I want to remember that i am actually connected with others. I want to make it easier for me to believe that others also actually think about me. I want to open my heart.