Heaven help us.

Heaven help us, I’m praying.

I am comfortably ensconced at my table at Green Sage Cafe, my current fav place to hang out with my laptop.  I have 2-4 hours of work ahead of me, which I will only relax if I accomplish this afternoon.  I have not made a blog post for weeks.  I have several topics floating around in my mind, in my little spiral notebook, dictated into my phone.  But there is this other work.  I know! I will write a short post – quick and dirty or, as my writing coach Nina Hart says, short and crappy.

I will write about what I am going to do next, still before launching into the dreaded “work”.  I am going to pray for my friends.

I am not a big prayer guy. My vision of a Great Spirit is not personal – I have no one to whom to pray.  But I have this little recent (or recently renewed) angle into prayer.  I don’t think that anybody thinks of me when I am not right in front of them – in spite of some people telling me they do, in spite of a variety of friends or even acquaintances describing to me incidents in which they were thinking of me or sending me positive energy or praying for me.

And I know why I don’t think that anybody thinks of me when I am not right in front of them: I don’t often think about the other people in my life, even very important other people like my son and my brother.  I am absorbed in survival.  In Steven Covey’s terms, I focus on what is or seems urgent, as opposed to what is genuinely important.  So I am going to take a page from people who regularly pray for their friends.  I’m going to do that too.

The other day I spent an hour or two creating three prayer lists, to use on three rotating days.  Each has the short list of my most intimate people, for whom I will pray every day:

  • my son
  • my brother
  • the woman I have been dating (or something, it’s not clear what, but I want to affirm her importance in my life)
  • my roommate Patti
  • the guys in my men’s group and their partners
  • my best friend Lynn
  • my 35-year best buddy Monty (one year deceased)
  • my dog Buddy (two years deceased but lately on my mind)
  • my parents (long deceased, but I am wanting to think of them more – to be grateful to them).

Each list also has a somewhat longer list of a whole variety of people I want to make important, to remember at a minimum every three days:

  • my seven housemates (who live in the other two apartments at our house, as opposed to Pattie who shares my  apartment with me)
  • people I work with
  • people I dance with
  • people i go to church with
  • people I practice Tae Kwon Do with
  • cashier-servers at my fav internet cafe (where I am now)
  • the man who molested me (very long deceased)
  • some living less-close relatives (one of whom I don’t like)
  • my old girlfriend

My goal is to spend at least a few minutes every day focusing on one of these three lists.  i want to make my friends – and other people in my life – important.  I want to remember that i am actually connected with others.  I want to make it easier for me to believe that others also actually think about me.  I want to open my heart.

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Heaven help us.

  1. Love this post! I DO pray for you Majo – not as often as I would like to, but when I am unable to sleep, which happens a couple of times a week, I use that time to pray for those I care about, those who especially need it, and those people that happen to enter my life sometimes even just for a fleeting moment, but for some reason stay on my heart. I also pray for animals – my own dogs as well as animals I have come across that seem sad, lonely, or neglected – I pray for people in authority – whatever party they may be from, for soldiers, for war refugees, for homeless people, for neighbors, for my “enemies” (those that don’t like me), and for those that seem unloveable. The person I usually forget to pray for is myself! :0) Ha!

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  2. This is beautiful, Diane. You are way more advanced than I. I created my three rotating lists on Tuesday and haven’t used them yet! (not in any structured way, anyhow. clearly their existence is influencing me in a variety of ways.) I would love to talk with you about all this sometime.

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  3. Beautiful. Please try to always remember that many of your friends consistently have you in their thoughts and prayers, and whether or not you see them at all. You’re an important part of our community.
    And regarding your closing comment (“open my heart”): sounds compelling to me.
    Thanks for putting yourself out there, Majo, in your authentic and loving way.

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