At age 68, I work three eight-hour shifts a week in a grocery store. Not just your average grocery store: it’s a funky health foods supermarket in the very funky town of Asheville, NC. We have terrific management at all levels, who treat people well and support you for being yourself – even eccentric. My coworkers are amazing – fun and creative people, many or most of them artists or musicians. Our customers tend to be really cool people – fresh and interesting, available to the kinds of interactions I describe in these posts. So, great merchandise, great management, great coworkers, great customers – I have advantages here that most of my brothers and sisters in the service industry don’t have. Yet I believe that most of the encounters I describe here could happen other places at the right moment in time.
I haven’t always been a grocery store cashier. I was a Ph.D. clinical psychologist for 20 years, then a Fortune 500 management consultant for another 15. This job is more than, as some customers say, “a good retirement job”. Yeah, after eight hours on my feet, my legs are sore. Yeah the pay is not that great – ridiculous when I think of what I have made in the past.
But bipolar disorder has made high-stress work impossible for me. I was not diagnosed until my mid-forties. Before then, I mostly was just perceived as “enthusiastic” – and by the occasional person as “too intense”. Then in my early forties, the youthful energy that had propelled me forward failed me at the same time that some situational factors left me very vulnerable, and I began to crash. More about my journey with bipolar disorder is described in another blog (bipolarintegrity.com). Enough to say that over about fifteen years I saw some really dark days and that I’m a lot better now. I love where I live, have great friends, a great support network. I am by no means “over” bipolar disorder, as you will see in these entries. But then none of us are over what makes us tick, what makes us vulnerable, what makes us interesting. Leonard Cohen says,
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s where the light comes in.”
Not every entry in this blog will involve my store. Life is big and happens everywhere, so you will hear about my dance community, my funky eight-person household, the Asheville environment, etc. But all of life unfolds before me here at the grocery store – funny stuff, synchronistic woo-woo stuff, poignant stuff. On a good (OK, usually manic) day, all the experiences of my 68 years come together and I work magic with my customers. On a good day, I love them and I know they love me. On a good day, I know that I am in the right place at the right time. On a bad/depressed day, it can feel like a trip through hell, but I always have a few good interactions and it’s better than sitting at home. And I need the money.
Majo
Majo John Madden
Hi,
I enjoyed your blog & it reminded me of the time I worked in my family’s grocery store as a kid in Richmond, VA. We will have to talk sometime.
Love Ya, Wayne
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Wayne – I got a little overwhelmed with comments right out of the chute and am just now working my way back through them. It would be fun to talk with you about lots of stuff, including grocery stores.
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Mj, your blog reminds me, all work is honorable .
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Wow, what a great takeaway! If that were the only thing my blog communicated to people, that itself would be a good day’s work. Thanks for the comment.
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12/23
What’s missing for me is John actually doing something to help himself in his moods.
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Perhaps you might like to look again, at Majo’s blog and visit him at work, if you can. I see many instances of Majo doing good for himself, his community, and other individuals.
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Are you the Audrey who I renamed Adrian (for your confidentiality) in Wednesday’s post? You’ll see there what an inspiration to me. Thanks for that.
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I LOVE your blog, and I have nominated you for the Liebster Award! 🙂 http://shopgirlanonymous.com/2015/03/07/liebster-award/
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Thanks Shopgirl – I appreciate your support.
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You’re Awesome! Nice to meet you yesterday. I’m the one who took a walk in the park.
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Thanks for the encouragement. I hope you continue to enjoy the blog. If my line is not too long, please come through it – and remind me who you are.
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Hey majo, this is brett. We talked today about things like using the word “guy” and “bud”.. I got good vibes from you, and I can relate to some of the obstacles that you deal with in life. Also I work at the south store, so I feel you on the policy topic. Anyway just wanted to say hi, and I really enjoyed reading through your blog
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Thanks for the encouraging words, Brett. I also enjoyed our little chat this morning. If you ever want to have coffee or breakfast and talk about the blog and about working in a grocery store (and specifically our store), I’d be interested.
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Hi Majo, it was great to meet you at the beach this weekend. I’m on a Greyhound traveling home and have begun reading your blog. Send me your snail mail address. I have a little something I’d like to send you. Felt like I didn’t get to say goodbye till next time and missed that. Peace, Karen
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Majo,
Just read Shit. A lot of wisdom. I honor your journey, your authenticity,your humanity.
Jeffrey
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Thanks so much Jeffrey. I like thinking of you reading this stuff.
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So glad to find this! Have enjoyed your poetry at Jubilee! immensely. You have a gift, and thank you for sharing it! (one of my fav jobs was at a funky health food store! didn’t pay great, but loved working there…. )I’m working “in the belly of the beast” as David Whyte would say, at present, but hoping for the days to return to simpler, more connected work. Grace and Peace…
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Literally the saddest excuse for a blog.. as a customer I’ve received so many of these business cards and now go out of my way to go through a different line.
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Literally the saddest excuse for a blog.. as a customer I’ve received so many of these business cards and now go out of my way to go through a different line.
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